Happens all the time :l

Tale of the Evil Toasters

Technology. What a wonderful thing. It makes our lives easier, enabling us to have warm toasty bread with minimal effort It is however, just a matter of time before it turns on us. In the event your toaster or any small appliance, for that matter develops a malevolent sentience - well, at-least mine has. 

This is not a tale of your run-of-the-mill happy toasters, as you can guess, but Evil Toasters, who have come from another planet to destroy us all.

A few days ago my toaster went haywire. It all began one Saturday night. It was time for dinner and as per my little brothers request I decided to make our usual pizza sandwiches. I first put the bread in the toaster; little did I know what it would lead to. I went inside the room for a while and facebooked. A few seconds later, I smelt smoke and alarmed, I ran to the kitchen. Gosh, the whole kitchen was smoky. Imagine those movie scenes when the house is burning down and you’ve got hardly a few minutes to save it all. I hurriedly took the toast out of the toaster, opened all windows and doors, and turned the exhaust fan on. Finally the smoke started dispersing out. But you should have seen the toast. It was like coal, still on fire, and it even smelt like it too.

So what I learnt from this incident is that toasters are powerful, and not to mention evil. I Thought I’d to a little research on burnt toast. And came across the shocking fact that eating burnt toast can lead to cancer: O so say all the toasters unite together and plot to kill us humans, they could indeed be very successful. So just in case they do, the following steps should be taken to kill the evil toasters.

 

First, make sure that it is in fact, malevolent and evil. You want to make sure that it isn't kind, or wants to return to it's home planet. Wait until the toaster shows some antagonistic. You don't want to harm an innocent, sentient toaster. Once the toaster behaves aggressively toward you (e.g. angry sounding hisses or snarls) it's time to take action.

       1. Stay calm. Panicking won't help you now. 

       2. Move quickly. Get a blanket, trash can or box, something that you can cover and  disorient it.

 

       3. Grab a chair, rolling pin, or any heavy device, and beat it mercilessly.

Good Luck. And Stay safe -_-

However, In the event of a deadly attack call 0800-i-am-being-attacked-by-an-evil-toaster.

A Fly's Life

Greetings,

Before I begin rambling on about the introduction of my new blog, I would like to clear certain things out:

1) The title of the blog should not by any means suggest that I like flies. Infact, I hate flies. Stupid swarming insects. Buzzing all around your face in the night. Argh. Silly buzzing sounds in the ear.

2) A house fly has an approximate life span of 15 to 30 days. My blog will hopefully last longer than that :) Let us assume that I am a immortal fly. Awesome, yeah?

3) Flies love things like garbage, manure and anything else that left out in a warm environment. I, on the other  hand, definitely do not. Though I could consider the chicken I left thawing on the counter all day :D

The reader must be wondering "So, why the name?". I don't know. It just made sense. Well, you will find house flies pretty much everywhere there are humans or animals. And House flies can travel up to six miles in 24 hours, but they usually prefer to stay close by their breeding ground (like me and my house :D ). So I guess they are social after all. I'm sure they eavesdrop on all human conversations. AND AND, they might even have their own global database of human species containing profiles of all living and dead humans :O Maybe they spy on other animals too :O

Sigh. I got carried away. So basically, i wanted to say: "yo, peeps. Welcome to The Social Fly :D"